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Relationships / Sex
How to let love into our lives, and how to express that love to the world at large--the latest from a best-selling author. We were made to love and be loved. Loving ourselves and others is in our genetic code. It's nothing other than the purpose of our lives--but knowing that doesn't make it easy to do. We may find it a challenge to love ourselves. We may have a hard time letting love in from others. We're often afraid of getting hurt. It is also sometimes scary for us to share love with those around us--and love that isn't shared leaves us feeling flat and unfulfilled. David Richo provides the tools here for learning how to love in evolved adult ways--beginning with getting past the barriers that keep us from loving ourselves, then showing how we can learn to open to love others. The first challenge is that we have a hard time letting love in: recognizing it, accepting it from others. We're afraid of it, of getting hurt. The second, related problem is that we're unable to share love with those around us--and love that isn't shared isn't truly love. The first step to learning to love and be loved, according to Richo's model, is to identify the different levels of love so that you can hit each one separately. He breaks it down to three: - Level One: Positive Connection. As simple as being courteous, respectful, helpful, and honest, and decent in all our dealings. Pretty basic, but it makes the world a better place, and it's the essential foundation for growing in love. - Level Two: Caring and Personal Connection. Intimacy and commitment to friends, family, partners, lovers. Commitment to others. - Level Three: Unconditional and Universal. Transcending the love of individuals to the love of all beings; self-sacrificing. The love expressed in the Sermon on the Mount and the Bodhicharyavatara. This level of love isn't for a heroic few, it's everyone's calling. He then shows us how to incorporate these varieties of love into our lives. It's a relief to know that even just aspiring to incorporate them really changes things. He also provides exercises and guided meditations for identifying and getting through the things that keep you from getting and giving love at each of these three levels. Through the lens of these types of love, Richo covers topics such as: how to still be yourself while loving another; how to embrace your dark side; what to do when the one who loves you dies; need versus fear; clinging; healthy sexuality, including fantasies and how to experience pleasure without guilt; how to break distructive patterns in your relationships; and how to have safe conversations with your loved one. Richo provides wisdom from Buddhism, psychology, and a range of spiritual traditions, along with a wealth of practices both for avoiding the pitfalls that can occur in love relationships and for enhancing the way love shows up in our lives. He then leads us on to love's inevitable outcome: developing a heart that loves universally and indiscriminately. This transcendent and unconditional love isn't just for a heroic few, Richo shows, it's everyone's magnificent calling.
Most people think of love as a feeling, says David Richo, but love is not so much a feeling as a way of being present. In this book, Richo offers a fresh perspective on love and relationships--one that focuses not on finding an ideal mate, but on becoming a more loving and realistic person. Drawing on the Buddhist concept of mindfulness, How to Be an Adult in Relationships explores five hallmarks of mindful loving and how they play a key role in our relationships throughout life: 1. Attention to the present moment; observing, listening, and noticing all the feelings at play in our relationships.
2. Acceptance of ourselves and others just as we are.
3. Appreciation of all our gifts, our limits, our longings, and our poignant human predicament.
4. Affection shown through holding and touching in respectful ways.
5. Allowing life and love to be just as they are, with all their ecstasy and ache, without trying to take control. When deeply understood and applied, these five simple concepts--what Richo calls the five A's--form the basis of mature love. They help us to move away from judgment, fear, and blame to a position of openness, compassion, and realism about life and relationships. By giving and receiving these five A's, relationships become deeper and more meaningful, and they become a ground for personal transformation.
2. Acceptance of ourselves and others just as we are.
3. Appreciation of all our gifts, our limits, our longings, and our poignant human predicament.
4. Affection shown through holding and touching in respectful ways.
5. Allowing life and love to be just as they are, with all their ecstasy and ache, without trying to take control. When deeply understood and applied, these five simple concepts--what Richo calls the five A's--form the basis of mature love. They help us to move away from judgment, fear, and blame to a position of openness, compassion, and realism about life and relationships. By giving and receiving these five A's, relationships become deeper and more meaningful, and they become a ground for personal transformation.
This powerful book shows readers how to stop a loved one from engaging in self-destructive behavior. Brad Lamm's step-by-step approach empowers families and friends to change their loved ones through compassionate, caring and continuing support.--Dr. Mehmet Oz.
Take control of your love life and gain the power to put yourself first in all your romantic relationships. - If you're just out of a messy break-up, learn how to put yourself and your needs first
- Find freedom from the tyranny of texts and lost love
- Embrace your single status and shout about your choices In How to Get Over a Boy, bestselling author Chidera Eggerue will show you, once and for all, how to reframe the stale goal of finding a man. She will equip you with tangible and applicable solutions for every part of your dating life, helping you recognize that men hold as much power in our romantic lives as we grant them. In the past, dating books tend to lean more into the territory of 'how to make him find you hot!', 'how to make him jealous!', 'how to get him to propose!'. But these how-tos are placing men on a pedestal of being 'the prize'. Men are NEVER the prize. You are. Let The Slumflower show you why.
- Find freedom from the tyranny of texts and lost love
- Embrace your single status and shout about your choices In How to Get Over a Boy, bestselling author Chidera Eggerue will show you, once and for all, how to reframe the stale goal of finding a man. She will equip you with tangible and applicable solutions for every part of your dating life, helping you recognize that men hold as much power in our romantic lives as we grant them. In the past, dating books tend to lean more into the territory of 'how to make him find you hot!', 'how to make him jealous!', 'how to get him to propose!'. But these how-tos are placing men on a pedestal of being 'the prize'. Men are NEVER the prize. You are. Let The Slumflower show you why.
Men are right. The "relationship talk" does not help. Dr. Patricia Love's and Dr. Steven Stosny's How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It reveals the stunning truth about marital happiness:
- Love is not about better communication. It's about connection.
- You'll never get a closer relationship with your man by talking to him like you talk to one of your girlfriends.
- Male emotions are like women's sexuality: you can't be too direct too quickly.
- There are four ways to connect with a man: touch, activity, sex, routines.
- Men want closer marriages just as much as women do, but not if they have to act like a woman.
- Talking makes women move closer; it makes men move away.
- The secret of the silent male is this: his wife supplies the meaning in his life.
- The stunning truth about love is that talking doesn't help. Drs. Patricia Love and Steven Stosny have studied this all-too-familiar dynamic between men and women and have reached a truly shocking conclusion. Even with the best of intentions, talking about your relationship doesn't bring you together, and it will eventually drive you apart. The reason for this is that underneath most couples' fights, there is a biological difference at work. A woman's vulnerability to fear and anxiety makes her draw closer, while a man's subtle sensitivity to shame makes him pull away in response. This is why so many married couples fall into the archetypal roles of nagging wife/stonewalling husband, and why improving a marriage can't happen through words. How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It teaches couples how to get closer in ways that don't require "trying to turn a man into a woman." Rich in stories of couples who have turned their marriages around, and full of practical advice about the behaviors that make and break marriages, this essential guide will help couples find love beyond words.
- Love is not about better communication. It's about connection.
- You'll never get a closer relationship with your man by talking to him like you talk to one of your girlfriends.
- Male emotions are like women's sexuality: you can't be too direct too quickly.
- There are four ways to connect with a man: touch, activity, sex, routines.
- Men want closer marriages just as much as women do, but not if they have to act like a woman.
- Talking makes women move closer; it makes men move away.
- The secret of the silent male is this: his wife supplies the meaning in his life.
- The stunning truth about love is that talking doesn't help. Drs. Patricia Love and Steven Stosny have studied this all-too-familiar dynamic between men and women and have reached a truly shocking conclusion. Even with the best of intentions, talking about your relationship doesn't bring you together, and it will eventually drive you apart. The reason for this is that underneath most couples' fights, there is a biological difference at work. A woman's vulnerability to fear and anxiety makes her draw closer, while a man's subtle sensitivity to shame makes him pull away in response. This is why so many married couples fall into the archetypal roles of nagging wife/stonewalling husband, and why improving a marriage can't happen through words. How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It teaches couples how to get closer in ways that don't require "trying to turn a man into a woman." Rich in stories of couples who have turned their marriages around, and full of practical advice about the behaviors that make and break marriages, this essential guide will help couples find love beyond words.
Hard-hitting divorce lawyer James J. Sexton shares his insights and wisdom to help you reverse-engineer a healthy, fulfilling romantic relationship with How to Stay in Love.
With two decades on the front lines of divorce Sexton has seen what makes formerly happy couples fall out of love and "lose the plot" of the story they were writing together. Now he reveals all of the "what-not-to-dos" for couples who want to build--and consistently work to preserve--a lasting, loving relationship. Sexton tells the unvarnished truth about love and marriage, diving straight into the most common issues that often arise from simple communication problems and relationships that develop by "default" instead of design. Though he deals constantly with the heartbreak of others, he still believes in romance and the transformative power of love. This book is his opportunity to use what he has learned from the mistakes of his clients to help individuals and couples find and preserve lasting connection. Previously published as If You're In My Office, It's Already Too Late.
THE SCHOOL OF LIFE IS DEDICATED TO EXPLORING LIFE'S BIG QUESTIONS IN HIGHLY-PORTABLE PAPERBACKS, FEATURING FRENCH FLAPS AND DECKLE EDGES, THAT THE NEW YORK TIMES CALLS DAMNABLY CUTE. WE DON'T HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS, BUT WE WILL DIRECT YOU TOWARDS A VARIETY OF USEFUL IDEAS THAT ARE GUARANTEED TO STIMULATE, PROVOKE, AND CONSOLE.
We don't think too much about sex; we're merely thinking about it in the wrong way.So asserts Alain de Botton in How to Think More About Sex, a rigorous and supremely honest book designed to help us navigate the intimate and exciting---yet often confusing and difficult---experience that is sex. Few of us tend to feel we're entirely normal when it comes to sex, and what we're supposed to be feeling rarely matches up with the reality. This book argues that twenty-first-century sex is ultimately fated to be a balancing act between love and desire, and adventure and commitment. Covering topics that include lust, fetishism, adultery, and pornography, Alain de Botton frankly articulates the dilemmas of modern sexuality, offering insights and consolation to help us think more deeply and wisely about the sex we are, or aren't, having.
The kinds of love we can experience in a lifetime are limited only by our imagination.
Thousands of women in their fifties, sixties, and seventies are living-and defining-a totally new love narrative. Whether they are already experiencing intimacy, joy-and great sex-or need the inspiration and support to go for it, readers will be energized by the stories of new ways of loving: relationships found (sometimes with younger men); rediscovered childhood sweethearts; long-standing ones enriched; and Internet adventures that feature choices and daring that would have been unimaginable not so long ago.
"How We Love Now" is the groundbreaking, funny, poignant, and sometimes shocking "next chapter" in Levine's ongoing conversation with women in Second Adulthood, the stage of life she defined and celebrated in two popular books: "Inventing the Rest of Our Lives" and "Fifty Is the New Fifty." As she explores the changes and opportunities for women in midlife, Levine's personal voice, experience, and research infuse each chapter with fresh revelations and reassurance.
Bill and Giuliana Rancic are now the hosts of NBC's Ready for Love, a new relationship show featuring three of America's most eligible guys searching for their soul mates.
Five million viewers tuned in to The Style Network for Giuliana DePandi and Bill Rancic's fairy tale wedding in Italy, as the passions, tears, and champagne flowed. But what happened once the honeymoon was over? After all, she's been stationed in Los Angeles as one of E! Entertainment's most popular personalities, and he's kept his home in Chicago, where this handsome winner of The Apprentice has been busy running an empire of his own. How, we've wondered, is this marriage really working out? With all the funny, frank, and characteristically down-to-earth personality that fans of their hit reality show, Giuliana & Bill, have come to adore, this glamorous couple takes you behind the scenes of their real-life marriage. Like all newlyweds, they've faced the big issues that wedlock manages to invite, including money (to merge or not?), household chores (she's disorganized, he's a neat freak), arguments (without staying mad), and trying to have a baby (it's not as easy as they thought!). Sharing their newfound and sometimes hard-won insights, they offer suggestions on such topics as communication, giving and receiving support, trust and jealousy, quality time, friends and in-laws, fighting fair, and sex and romance. A must-read for newly married couples, or those about to take the plunge, or anyone who wants to know the secrets of everlasting love, I Do, Now What? is an upbeat real-world resource for the most ambitious journey of a couple's life: marriage!
Five million viewers tuned in to The Style Network for Giuliana DePandi and Bill Rancic's fairy tale wedding in Italy, as the passions, tears, and champagne flowed. But what happened once the honeymoon was over? After all, she's been stationed in Los Angeles as one of E! Entertainment's most popular personalities, and he's kept his home in Chicago, where this handsome winner of The Apprentice has been busy running an empire of his own. How, we've wondered, is this marriage really working out? With all the funny, frank, and characteristically down-to-earth personality that fans of their hit reality show, Giuliana & Bill, have come to adore, this glamorous couple takes you behind the scenes of their real-life marriage. Like all newlyweds, they've faced the big issues that wedlock manages to invite, including money (to merge or not?), household chores (she's disorganized, he's a neat freak), arguments (without staying mad), and trying to have a baby (it's not as easy as they thought!). Sharing their newfound and sometimes hard-won insights, they offer suggestions on such topics as communication, giving and receiving support, trust and jealousy, quality time, friends and in-laws, fighting fair, and sex and romance. A must-read for newly married couples, or those about to take the plunge, or anyone who wants to know the secrets of everlasting love, I Do, Now What? is an upbeat real-world resource for the most ambitious journey of a couple's life: marriage!
This book isn't about playing a game to get what you want. It's about you looking at yourself and finding ways to learn how to grow as an individual. I cannot tell you every single step you should take to get you to where you are trying to go in life. But what I can do is make sure you have enough confidence to trust your own judgments, regardless of past mistakes. I want you to understand that it's okay to be exactly where you are right now, whether you are single or in a relationship. Appreciate where your journey is taking you, but be able to identify areas that need to change. I want you to read this book and have a better understanding of the present. I want you to know that trying to get it right is a constant process. We never arrive at a place of knowing it all. For as long as we are alive, we are challenged to grow, learn, evolve, and mature. Love is a decision, not a destination. It's not something you stumble upon. You must choose to walk in it, give to it, and become it. Each of us travels a different path to find the love we are searching for. Some find what they are looking for instantly, while others must jump over a few hurdles before realizing they have finally found something special. In essence, we are all just working towards what we believe we deserve- our fair chance at love and happiness.
A guide to restoring trust in broken relationships from a renowed couple's therapist. Is my relationship worth saving?
Will the trust ever come back?
How can things be good between us again? Whether broken trust is due to daily dishonesties, a monumental betrayal, or even a history of hurts from the past, it can put a relationship at risk. This is the first book to show you exactly what to do to restore trust in your relationship, regardless of how it was damaged. In this complete guide, couples therapist Mira Kirshenbaum will also help you understand the stages by which trust strengthens when the rebuilding process is allowed to take place. And you will learn how the two of you can avoid the mistakes that prevent healing and discover how to feel secure with each other again.
Will the trust ever come back?
How can things be good between us again? Whether broken trust is due to daily dishonesties, a monumental betrayal, or even a history of hurts from the past, it can put a relationship at risk. This is the first book to show you exactly what to do to restore trust in your relationship, regardless of how it was damaged. In this complete guide, couples therapist Mira Kirshenbaum will also help you understand the stages by which trust strengthens when the rebuilding process is allowed to take place. And you will learn how the two of you can avoid the mistakes that prevent healing and discover how to feel secure with each other again.
A psychologist explores the intersection of love and madness through the riveting stories of the patients he has treated In The Incurable Romantic, Frank Tallis recounts the extraordinary stories of patients who are, quite literally, madly in love: a woman becomes utterly convinced that her dentist is secretly infatuated with her and drives him to leave the country; a man destroys his massive fortune through trysts with over three thousand prostitutes -- because his ego requires that they fall in love with him; a beautiful woman's pathological jealousy destroys the men who love her. Along the way, we learn a great deal about the history of psychiatry and the role of neuroscience in addressing disordered love. Elegantly written and infused with deep sympathy, The Incurable Romantic shows how all of us can become a bit crazy in love.
From the much-admired literary critic, novelist, and scholar--a book that illuminates the long-standing but little-known tradition of love between women in English and other Western literature from the twelfth century to the twenty-first.
Chaucer and Shakespeare, Coleridge and Charlotte Bronte, Dickens and Diderot, Agatha Christie and Lillian Hellman--writers of every age have addressed the unspeakable subject of one woman's passion for another, questioning whether such desire is freakish or omnipresent, holy or evil, heartwarming or ridiculous. Now Emma Donoghue brings to bear all of her celebrated erudition and wry insight on the theme of desire between women--from schoolgirls to vampires to runaway wives; from cross-dressing knights to contemporary murderers. She writes about the half-dozen contrasting girl-girl plots that have been retold over the centuries, and explores how they have changed from generation to generation and how all the writers, acutely aware of the potential dangers of the subject, did their best to veil what they were writing about even as they exploited its appeal.
A brilliant, witty, and revelatory book that restores an age-old literary tradition to its rightful place in our cultural history.
Chaucer and Shakespeare, Coleridge and Charlotte Bronte, Dickens and Diderot, Agatha Christie and Lillian Hellman--writers of every age have addressed the unspeakable subject of one woman's passion for another, questioning whether such desire is freakish or omnipresent, holy or evil, heartwarming or ridiculous. Now Emma Donoghue brings to bear all of her celebrated erudition and wry insight on the theme of desire between women--from schoolgirls to vampires to runaway wives; from cross-dressing knights to contemporary murderers. She writes about the half-dozen contrasting girl-girl plots that have been retold over the centuries, and explores how they have changed from generation to generation and how all the writers, acutely aware of the potential dangers of the subject, did their best to veil what they were writing about even as they exploited its appeal.
A brilliant, witty, and revelatory book that restores an age-old literary tradition to its rightful place in our cultural history.
To truly understand your intimate relationships, you must read this book! David Deida, internationally known for his work in personal growth and intimate relationships, shares the deep understandings and effective techniques that he has refined through his 20 years of consultation, research and spiritual practice. Learn how to keep your relationships growing--beyond the sexually neutralized roles so typical of today--and create a relationship that is spiritually erotic, sexually deep and passionately committed to love.
Twenty years after her sharp, seminal first book Sex and the City reshaped the landscape of pop culture and dating with its fly on the wall look at the mating rituals of the Manhattan elite, the trailblazing Candace Bushnell delivers a new book on the wilds and lows of sex and dating after fifty.
Set between the Upper East Side of Manhattan and a country enclave known as The Village, Is There Still Sex in the City? follows a cohort of female friends--Sassy, Kitty, Queenie, Tilda Tia, Marilyn, and Candace--as they navigate the ever-modernizing phenomena of midlife dating and relationships. There's "Cubbing," in which a sensible older woman suddenly becomes the love interest of a much younger man, the "Mona Lisa" Treatment--a vaginal restorative surgery often recommended to middle aged women, and what it's really like to go on Tinder dates as a fifty-something divorcee. From the high highs (My New Boyfriend or MNBs) to the low lows (Middle Age Madness, or MAM cycles), Bushnell illustrates with humor and acuity today's relationship landscape and the types that roam it.
Drawing from her own experience, in Is There Still Sex in the City? Bushnell spins a smart, lively satirical story of love and life from all angles--marriage and children, divorce and bereavement, as well as the very real pressures on women to maintain their youth and have it all. This is an indispensable companion to one of the most revolutionary dating books of the twentieth century from one of our most important social commentators.
He told me I was a penguin: "tiny, adorable, and loved by everyone." TALES FROM THE BEGINNING OF LOVE It may be after three days together, or after three months-it's that moment when it all falls together. From heartfelt declarations to all-knowing smiles, It Was Love When .. captures that moment when love is just beginning. - I thought to myself, "I love him more than Spider-Man loves Mary Jane."
- I was looking through his iTunes when I realized that our playlists were nearly identical.
- Suddenly he turned off the lights and told me to look up at the ceiling. Glow-in-the-dark stars covered the entire ceiling, spelling out "I love you." Both addictive and heartwarming, It Was Love When... is a freeze frame of that moment when you realize that you're truly, completely in love.
- I was looking through his iTunes when I realized that our playlists were nearly identical.
- Suddenly he turned off the lights and told me to look up at the ceiling. Glow-in-the-dark stars covered the entire ceiling, spelling out "I love you." Both addictive and heartwarming, It Was Love When... is a freeze frame of that moment when you realize that you're truly, completely in love.
Have you stopped believing in happily ever after? Women today are settling for less than we want when it comes to men, relationships, sex, and marriage. But we don't have to, argues Elizabeth Kantor. Jane Austen can show us how to find the love we really want. In The Jane Austen Guide to Happily Ever After, Kantor reveals how the examples of Jane Austen heroines such as Elizabeth Bennett, Elinor Dashwood, and Anne Elliot can help us navigate the modern-day minefields of dating, love, relationships, and sex. By following in their footsteps--and steering clear of the sad endings suffered by characters such as Maria Bertram and Charlotte Lucas--modern women can discover the path to lifelong love and true happiness. Charged with honesty and humor, Kantor's book includes testimonies from modern women, pop culture parallels, the author's personal experiences and, of course, a thorough examination of Austen's beloved novels. Featuring characters and situations from all of Jane Austen's books (including unfinished novels, and stories not published in her lifetime), The Jane Austen Guide to Happily Ever After tackles the dating and relationship dilemmas that we face today, and equips modern women to approach our love lives with fresh insights distilled from the novels:
Don't be a tragic heroine
Pursue Elizabeth Bennet's "rational happiness" --learn what it is, and how you can find it
Don't let cynicism steal your happy ending
Why it's a mistake to look for your "soul mate"
Jane Austen's skeleton keys to a man's potential
How you should deal with men who are "afraid of commitment" (from Jane Austen's eight case studies)
Learn how to arrange your own marriage--by falling in love the Jane Austen way
What Would Jane Do? What's a strong, independent-minded woman supposed to do in a world of insipid dating guides? Sinéad Murphy responds by asking: Who has more time-tested secrets than Jane Austen, whose novels continue to captivate us almost two hundred years later? Whether you can recite paragraphs from Pride and Prejudice or just admired Colin Firth in his wet shirt, the romance of Jane Austen's world is one you'll never forget. Does love like that even exist today? Yes, it does . . . If you look closely at the women of Jane Austen's books, as the witty scholar Sinéad Murphy has, you'll discover Austen's countless tips for finding the right leading man, navigating the ups and downs of courtship, and building a happy, independent life for yourself.